Songs I Want Played at My Funeral Reception
If I were to plan my funeral reception, I would have it surrounded by those who were dear to me throughout my lifespan and who genuinely cared about me and spent time with me.
I picked out songs that I’d like played at my funeral reception to be a testament to my life and timeline.
-Heaven sent – Steeldrivers
-Arms Wide Open – Creed
I choose this particular piece because I like to consider myself a Christian and how accepting death and the persecuted life is what it means to live in the footsteps of Jesus. And I think this song reflects my thoughts to comfort those who share that same philosophy.
-Higher – Creed
I like the somber yet uplifting tone of this song and the lyrics express how death is like a transition like the sunrise. I especially like the lyrics in the chorus of the song where it says, “Can you take me higher. To a place where blind men sees?…Can you take me higher. To a place with golden streets?”
-Hanging By a Moment – Lifehouse
Time passes you by quicker than we’d sometimes like. Especially for those mourning or grieving a passed away loved one. Committing to having a Lifehouse or perhaps a metaphor for church can allow one to let go of some of our pain and suffering from the trauma of losing a loved one.
-Until the Day I Die- Story of the Year
Sidetracking from the more exalting music, I like how expressive and screamo this piece is. Living a sacrificed life from a Christian viewpoint and then acknowledging what God’s done for you in your life.
-Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty
The overtone of Free Fallin’ is just one of those songs that can close an emotional funeral and alleviate the sense of coming to terms with the indentured, spiritual lifestyle.
-Beautiful Day – U2
Could be a closing song to the list of songs played in order for my funeral. It celebrates how, “It’s a Beautiful Day.” Carpe Diem!
I feel that no one should be able to duplicate a copyrighted form of music when played at a funeral reception or a memorial service of a loved one. It’s a tribute to their life and celebrates the life cycle and the moments shared with that particular individual. Life’s a journey, not a destination.
Hotel Intel: Watch The Luxury Collection’s “Here” Now!
She’s live! The short film “Here”, created by I Am Love‘s Waris Ahluwalia and Luca Guadagnino for The Luxury Collection, that we scooped on the weekend is now playing on the web. We’ve got your ticket, a.k.a. link, to check it out.
Ready to be romanced by Agyness Deyn, the American landscape and three picturesque luxury properties? Always.
Ready, set, click this link: www.thefilmhere.com. Then come back and tell us what you think.
Do Self-help Books Really Help?
“Words are merely utterances: noises that stand for feelings, thoughts, and experience. They are symbols. Signs. Insignias. They are not Truth. They are not the real thing”. ~ ‘Conversations with God’ by Neale Donald Walsch.
We, the people of the 21st century, are so stressed out and burdened with life, that anxiety attacks, heartbreak and depression have become common terms for us. Many of you out there, just like me would not want to spend time and money on visiting a therapist to solve such problems. And what do we have for respite, if not for words of advice from trained professionals and elders, is a multitude of self-help books. The hysteria surrounding these books is evidently on the rise, as statistics prove that self-help books are apparently best sellers. But is it worth investing your money on books that only offer advice?
Purpose of Self-help Books
A Testimonial of Change
Being an ardent reader of self-help books myself, the foremost thought that comes to my mind, with regards to these books, is that they are a testimonial. By testimony, I imply evidence of an intrinsic change, that the authors have experienced for themselves. What interests me here, is the silent urge to know that we are not alone, and like us there are several others going through a similar problem. What self-help books do best, in my opinion, is to link two relatively unknown souls on a relatively common platform, thus providing individuals a scope to know about another person’s experience in a similar situation. And with self-help books being a fad these days, just about anyone, who experiences a sapience, wishes to be lauded for his/her pearls of wisdom. At a glance, these books could be works of pure fiction or they could actually hint towards a deeper understanding of oneself. After all, it’s self-discovery, that these books aim at, isn’t it?
Scope for Introspection
From time immemorial, saints and sages have talked about man’s ardent desire to search for the ultimate truth, the truth about themselves. Even authors like Mitch Albom, Anthony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, etc., have talked about self introspection in their works. Besides, man’s inquisitive nature, and thirst for his spiritual existence leads him to nirvana. Most of the self-help books are written with the sole intention of leading an individual deeper into oneself. Man’s yearning to break free from all the bonds and seek solace within is known to almost everyone, and this yearning leads him to one of the self-help books that mediate him to dig deeper into the self. In the words of Neale, “The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek, therefore, not to find out Who You Are, seek to determine Who You Want to Be”.
A Ray of Hope
According to the trend observed in markets, individuals rush to pick a copy of self-help books especially to soothe themselves when faced with difficult situations. Books that deal with facing depression, tackling anxiety attacks, developing friendship, etc., have definitely seen a rise, but are they worth the money? Basically, what you and I do, is run to people for advice in a relatively sticky situation and what better way to do that than to open a book and read for yourself. Most of us consider these books to be the greatest source of wisdom; but a thought to ponder on is imperative. Before you venture to the store and pick up a book, ask yourself, if it is practical to apply all the implications to your situation. Or are you simply confusing yourself further by referring to a thousand books? If you look at the book just as a light in the dark, there is a possibility that it could flicker off too. It’s true that self-help books are designed to guide you, but if not applied in practical life, it could be misleading too. Think about it.
Real or Placebo Effect
Heraclitus says, “Change is the only constant”, and self-help books are intended to bring about a change in perception. But how far is this change perceivable? If we as seekers with a clear purpose in mind, turn to self-help books, then it can play an instrumental role to bring about the desired change. Self-help books point out the importance of our relationships with one another, which are correlated with happiness and inner well-being; it is in all cases, subjective to the individual. One question you should ask yourself when referring to a self-help book is, is this for real or a mere placebo effect? Bear in mind that what works well for your friend may not work for you, or for any other individual for that matter. As mentioned earlier, change is the only constant, and all of us are subconsciously changing every moment of our lives. As believed, self-help books can have a desired outcome, only if you as an individual implement the information in your practical everyday life.
Tread with Caution
By all means yes, this is the ultimate warning. Self-help books can offer wonderful advice, but are you ready to accept facts and make a lasting impact on your life? All self-help books talk about is, taking the step forward and being the change that you always want to have in your life. All valid confusion can be literally wiped away, if we condition our minds to think in the way, that is written about. The whole purpose of a self-help book may be lost if you do not condition your old ways and tune in to the new. Besides, it is always best to remember that, not every advice written in these books can be applied in practical life. Would you blindly trust a stranger telling you that your actions prove you insane? If your answer is negative, then you ought to give a serious thought to follow every single advice meted out in a self-help book. After all, even though we are created from the same earth, not all of us think and behave in the same way.
As for me, self-help books serve as a great tool to know where, I as an individual, am heading in life. Self-help books, for me, are a source of information and a medium for self introspection. You are free to differ in your opinion, for after all, life is what you perceive it to be and no one is born with a forced will.
Work, Depression and Stressed Out Moms…There’s A Pill for Everything!!!
These days there is a pill for everything. Depressed, Stressed, Upset stomach, nausea, just a short trip to the Family Physician, gives you access to a plethora of prescription drugs to get you through yet another day in an unfulfilling job or life.
Several years ago I started having issues with getting out of bed and going to work. It would only happen once in a while, for whatever reason, I just couldn’t do it that particular day. Usually, it would be on a day when I didn’t have a heavy schedule or a lot of work due, with plenty of sick time built up so that it would not affect my paycheck. Through the years though, it has progressed to every other week, more than one day in a row and time off without pay since all sick and vacation time has been used up.
What’s the problem here?
This past year there have been several tragic events that have occurred in my life, and that of my family members. My Ex-spouse, who has a mental disorder, has threatened my life and the life of family members and has thus been disowned by our oldest daughter, and has limited communication with our youngest child. One of my children was sexually assaulted and subsequently attempted suicide. Another of my children was found to have been a victim of an online predator. All of these incidents caused involvement in our lives by several law enforcement agencies and medical practitioners. Subsequently, my youngest child, now eighteen decided to leave home. These issues may be related to the depression I am now experiencing, and was informed by the so-called professionals that it was.
Physicians, Psychiatrists and Psychologists were consulted and I was put on a low dose anti-depressant, to be taken for only six months. I could start functioning again, and go back to a Job that I hate, due to the wonders of modern pharmacology.
The six months are up, and I started tapering off the anti-depressant per my Psychiatrist’s advice, since the medication was only to be used to get me through the above situations. But, the original issued with not being able to get up and go to my job has not disappeared, it has gotten worse. Now, it is not just a matter of not being able to go, but I have panic attacks by just talking about work. In the morning these attacks start with nausea, vomiting and pressure in my chest, causing me to be unable to breathe. Rapid heartbeat and hyperventilation continue until I am able to call in, then it instantly stops. Could it be job related? I think so.
This may be a bit of self-analysis, but I never wanted this job. My current husband asked me to go back to work in order to catch us up on our bills and get out of debt, which was supposed to take no more than a year. I was and wanted to remain a stay at home Mom, as I have always believed that children need that stability, especially if you have enough income to meet the needs of the family. Alas, that did not happen. After a year of still not being caught up on the bills, and the debt not being reduced but increased, I was asked to continue to the three year mark. You see, most persons debt increases based on the amount of income available. Not every household allows this to happen, but ours did.
The three year mark came and went. We lost our home during the collapse of the economy like so many others, due to lack of employment for my husband. One child moved out and the rest of the family had to move into a rental so that my income could cover all the essential bills until the economy got better and my husband could find work again. At this point there was a five year mark scheduled for when I could come home and be the Wife and Mother that I always believed I should be. Year six, not five arrived, my husband has plenty of work, we lived through all the above tragedies, and are Empty-nesters living alone in a home too big for two persons.
It’s coming on for seven years at a thankless, stressful, government job, with constantly increasing demands and deadlines. The workload has tripled, and the deadlines have not changed. Overtime is sometimes mandatory, but mostly just strongly suggested so that the deadlines are met. Most of the persons that I work with work 50-60 hours per week during the weeks just before the monthly deadlines, working 1-2 Saturdays as well. Morale is so low that it is palpable. Personally, I can’t make myself go in on a regular basis for a 40 hour work week, let alone work any extra. Up to this time I have always met my responsibilities and had excellent evaluations. That time has come to an end.
The solution, back to the Doctors I go, and prescribed the original dosage of anti-depressant with an added anti-anxiety drug, and a commonly used drug for stomach upset caused by excess acid, blood tests, x-rays and an ultrasound. Prescription drugs are supposed to make me love my job I guess? Now I can go back to work and continue to support who? Should I continue to support the economy, a mountain of debt, a Husband that makes plenty of money for both of us? No reason to be a stay at home Mom as now the kids are gone. It would be considered selfish of me to want to stay home at this point, just to be a Homemaker for my Husband, when I should be working towards our retirement. Maybe I can be there for the Grandchildren that both of my girls say they are not going to have. They both believe the world is too cruel, and they would be selfish to purposely bring more children into it.
Take it from me Moms, if you can stay at home, do so! Figure out a way to make money without leaving, and raise your children so that they are not physically, emotionally and mentally abused by others. If you are not at home, you may not be able to see all the dangers of the world that can attack them. If you are at home, it can still happen, but do you think it is as likely? At least you would know that you did everything in your power to protect them.
Your health is at stake, when you go against your instincts, personal desires or against what you believe is your life’s purpose. There is a lot of guilt incurred when you are convinced that if you had been there for your children, they would not have been victimized. But, not to worry, I’m sure there is a pill for that as well.
How to Stop Criticizing Others
Doesn’t it feel great when we lash out at someone for being too silly/ insensitive/ unprofessional/ ignorant/ annoying, etc.? How many times have we criticized others for not matching up to our so-called standards? How many people have gotten on to our nerves because they are not us? Criticizing is easy and it makes us feel good within because we perceive someone to be at a lower level of excellence.
Reeks of unfairness, doesn’t it? Criticizing is oftenly used to release pent-up frustration. It is the person at the receiving end who has to endure the trauma, sometimes undeservingly so. It is sad how we never realize when our unending rants create a permanent distance in the relationship. It is time to pull up your socks and rid yourself of this consumptive habit.
How to Stop Judging and Criticizing People
“That was excellently observed’, say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.” ~ Jonathan Swift
Where does criticism stem from? The primary source of criticism is expectation, in all probability. Don’t we all like people to do things exactly the way we would do them? A slight variation or a move away from the mundane becomes irksome. Whatever happened to being open-minded or accommodating? Yes, there are situations that demand exactitude, but does criticism help bring about a positive change? It would be better, instead, if we try to identify the source of the trouble. You’d be surprised to find how more often than not, it points towards shortcomings within us. Mostly, it is our frustration, jealousy, anger or incompleteness that is the culprit.
“How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli
Criticizing is often a natural human response to variation. Since appreciation of innovation requires a big heart, criticism is used to mask our failure. This can happen, especially with people in positions of authority. Take a moment to think – are we hurting the person with our harsh words? Are we inadvertently fostering resentment and rebellion? If we are, it negates the entire purpose of criticism. A better choice in such a case would be to offer a helping hand, rather than scathing words.
“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
So does it mean we sweet-talk a deliberate wrongdoer every time? Definitely not. Constructive criticism can be discerned by a person who is willing to accept his/her mistakes and correct them. If you really wish to reform a person, try telling him/her how to do things right, instead of harping on and on about his/her inadequacy. In the case of repeat offenders, criticism can be the worst tool one can think of using. Their repeated failures are proof of them being either incompetent or just plain impish.
“Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.” ~ Elvis Presley
Golden words, these. The fact is that we live a life that is ours. The troubles that come our way are ours. Every individual is blessed with the ability to make his/her decisions. We humans always judge a person for being too hasty or too laid-back, too foolish or over smart with the choices he/she makes in life. It’s easy to say, “I would’ve never done that”, when you’ve never found yourself in that situation in the first place. We need to respect every person’s ability to deal with his/her problems and not think of ourselves to be God and be judgmental of whatever decision others take.
“As a matter of fact, we are none of us above criticism, so let us bear with each other’s faults.” ~ L. Frank Baum
A cup of hot coffee and a cream donut tastes best when we have the company of friends along with some juicy gossip to go with it. Being judgmental about another’s choices in clothing, dating and working is so good, that it gets addictive. But would we really like a world that is full of our clones? Individuality sets us apart from the other members of the animal family. Unfortunately, it is this trait that makes us go yak, yak, yak in retaliation. The next time you think you’ve spotted a blunder, stop the urge to criticize. Instead, thank the stars it’s not you.
“When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.” ~ Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
Sugar-coated criticism may not be easy to dispense, but is always easy to digest. Most people like to know that they are not complete nincompoops, incapable of being trusted with the easiest of tasks. Before rushing on to the wrongs, take a moment to appreciate the effort the person has put in, more than anything else. After all, wouldn’t you like your mistakes to be dealt with, in the same way?
We all understand that criticizing is an inseparable part of human nature. We need to be cautious and sparing in its use. Easier said than done, criticizing cannot be stopped with one swish of a magic wand. It requires a massive amount of effort and tons of patience. Sadly, saintly qualities like these are not usually bestowed upon us mortals; in fact, providence has an annoying way of putting these qualities to test now and then. If we look at it as a chance of being a guide to others, it might help us tone down the criticism by a notch.
Child Custody Battle – Prepare Yourself for Child Custody Hearing
If you are preparing yourself for a child custody hearing (generally contested because a couple could not come to a mutual, out-of-court agreement), you are mostly aware of the impact that the outcome will have on you and your child. You are probably scared, angry, embittered, depressed or on the verge of a nervous breakdown with all the worry over the verdict a judge will give. The first important thing for you to do, before you learn about how to prepare for a child custody hearing, is to calm yourself. Nothing worthwhile can be achieved when you are in a heightened emotional state. You have held yourself together so far, hang on for a little longer and set aside your emotional outburst for a time after the custody hearing.
Once you have rid yourself of personal baggage, put your logical and rational mind to work. Think about your child with a clear and unclouded mindset. What would be in the best interest of your child? It is easy to get carried away by feelings and come to the conclusion that because your spouse failed to be a good partner, he/she would fail to be a good parent. As far as possible, look at the situation from your child’s point of view. Then, based on what you think is best for your child, prepare yourself for the child custody hearing.
Things to Know Before a Child Custody Hearing
As any experienced single parent would know, to win a custody battle is no less than winning an actual battle and just like a general has to have a strategy in place, a personalized ‘child custody strategy’ is a must. The worst thing that can happen in a child custody is overlooking a deserving parent as an unfit parent. More often than not, the reason for this lies in poor planning of the better parent. To avoid this from happening to you, here are a few things you must know.
- The judge, or any other person in the court, does not know you. They might know about you based on the case file, but not who you really are.
- Your advocate is a representative, not a projection of you. Trust him/her but don’t leave everything to him/her.
- Courts no longer grant custody to a mother automatically. They decide the custody rights based on what is in the best interest of the child.
- Study your state laws on child custody thoroughly.
- Research on previous child custody cases similar to yours.
Preparation for a Child Custody Hearing
Self-evaluation
Honesty is indeed the best policy in a child custody hearing. As it is, your opponent in court is going to put you through a microscope. Instead of waiting for an outsider to reopen your wounds or use your weak spots as ammunition, you might as well do it yourself. While doing this, don’t limit your evaluation to just the parenting skills. The judge is going to focus on your parenting skills and see you as an individual. Ask yourself these questions:
- What traits in my personality are commendable?
- Which of my personality traits leave room for change?
- What are all the parenting skills I possess?
- What wrong choices or decisions have I made in the past?
- Which parts of parenting am I weak at?
- Which of my personality traits or parenting skills did my ex claim to be wrong?
- What all can I provide my child with?
- What will my child be deprived of, if he/she lives with me?
Your ex (and his/her attorney) is going to pinpoint even the slightest failings on your part. While it is impossible to be perfect (we are humans and humans fail), it is possible (and advisable) to use our failings as steps to go higher. Dress up your closet of skeletons with what you have learned and how it has, and will, positively affect your life. Also, the accusations of your ex may not seem worth your time, but being prepared with a reasonable explanation to them will make your case stronger and at least lower the confidence of your opponent. What you must not do is defend your wrongs. Accept them and show how you have effectively dealt with them.
Know Your Enemy
Now move on to the part you will probably do with ease: evaluate your ex. The tricky twist here is that you have to be honest. Simply put, view the actions of your ex as an outsider would. Being impartial in your views will give you a better idea about the strong and weak points of your ex. Besides, if you are objective in your assessment, the arguments you base on them will be objective too. The judge, and your ex (along with his/her advocate), will not be able to charge you with vindictive behavior. You will come across as someone who is more focused on the future of his/her child and not someone who is bent on getting back at an ex. Questions that will help you do this are similar to the ones listed above, but with a slight variation.
- Which personality traits of your ex are good?
(Which of your personality traits compensate for these?) - What are the questionable personality traits of your ex?
(Does he/she have issues or traits, like anger management, that would put your child at risk?) - What past choices of your ex reflect negatively on him/her?
(It can be anything that is detrimental to the well-being of your child.) - What good parenting skills does your ex possess?
(Do you have these skills or are there any other extra skills that you possess?) - What are his/her shortcomings as a parent?
(Include instances of child abuse or neglect, if any. Do not gloat.) - What can your ex give your child?
(Are these things essential for your child? If yes, can you give them to your child?) - What will your child be deprived of, if he/she stays with your ex?
(Include lack of time because of busy schedule or extended business tours, residence that is at a considerable distance from the school, friends and other activities the child is attached to.)
Again, focus on the custody issues that are related to your child in some way. Don’t accuse your ex of wronging you if that action had no direct impact on your child. For instance, if your ex had an affair, mention that only if your child discovered it in a way he/she shouldn’t have chanced upon it. You can use the current partner of your ex only if his/her relationship with your child will have an adverse or undesirable effect. Bear in mind that this is a child custody hearing, not a divorce proceeding. So don’t compete or try to ‘measure up’ to your ex – you are to evaluate, not judge your ex or even yourself. Highlight the significant issues only, as having a few but important points is of more value than a huge list of inconsequential issues.
Document Evidence
For all the points you list on your behalf, and the ones that you wish to use against your ex, evidence is essential. Support all your arguments with evidence because no one is going to take your word as true and infallible, especially in a family court. It might seem a hypocrite kind of thing to prove that you love your kids or you might not want to do anything with your ex anymore, but you will have to do this for the simple reason that the court (or the judge) cannot see a person’s heart or know his/her entire life in a few court hearings. Things that you can use as evidence are:
- Proof of personal and financial stability which includes a secure job, a good house and if applicable, a steady partner
- Photographs or videos that show the quality time you have spent with kids
- Witnesses and official documents that prove you were involved in the educational and medical care of your child
- Police records or medical reports against your ex, if any
- Witnesses and evidence of abusive or dangerous behavior of your ex
- Written documentation of instances when your ex missed child visitation or child support
- Proof that the child’s schedule will not be disturbed, if he/she comes to live with you like details of school and extracurricular activities
One thing to know when you go for a child custody hearing for the first time is that, even if you have given the most relevant evidences in your file, present yourself in the court as though the judge presiding over your child custody case has not read a word of it. As for witnesses, they can be doctors, teachers, neighbors or friends who have seen and can vouch for your interaction with your child. In case of your friends and family, a judge is inclined to believe that they will support you at all costs, so choose wisely. For those witnesses that you are not sure will present themselves for the child custody hearing, you can request a subpoena (a court order to present a person) to be issued.
Child Custody Representative
You may choose to represent yourself per se, but it is best to choose a good, recommended and experienced advocate if you are not familiar with court proceedings. In case you want to go, study your case all the more objectively. Go for a session or two of consultation with an experienced advocate. Get your evidence and other custody related documents verified by an appropriate third person. You can take someone along as a support on the day of the child custody hearing. If you choose to hire an advocate, then you need to do include the following things:
- Choose someone referred to you than a stranger. Take the advice and opinion of those who have gone through successful custody battles before.
- Interview a prospective advocate just as you would interview a prospective employee.
- Ask him/her to give you references (a good advocate should be able to give them easily).
- Question him/her on her strategy and plan of action. An advocate is as good as his/her preparation.
- Different advocates have different communication methods. So, be sure to know when and how you will be contacted.
- Do not hesitate to question your lawyer – you are going to put yourself and your child in his/her hands.
- Give an honest appraisal of yourself, your ex, your child and the entire case at all times, in all things.
- Spend enough time in discussing the strategy and overall proceedings of your case.
- Tell your advocate to get information on the strategy of the advocate representing your ex, and the presiding judge, based on his/her previous cases.
Your advocate can sympathize or empathize with you, but in the end, he/she is there just to follow the courtroom rules on your behalf and can only do what you allow him/her to. Provide all the information, no matter how big or small, to enable your advocate in making effective defensive and offensive arguments before the judge in the family court. Being truthful and open with yourself and your advocate will help you in tackling your fears, which in turn will boost your confidence because, you will know there is nothing more for you to face or hide.
Child Custody Hearing Tips
What to Do During a Child Custody Hearing
✔ Following the courtroom etiquette goes a long way in impressing a judge.
✔ Be on your guard at all times and take any suggestion only after a thorough background search.
✔ Review all the documents relevant to the case till you know them inside out.
✔ Present witnesses from the medical, educational or law enforcement fields as far as possible.
✔ It is very beneficial if your child is involved in any social activity with you (like regular visits to friends or family).
✔ Diligently obey the orders of a court ruling.
✔ Have a mock questioning of witnesses along with your advocate, before the child custody hearing.
What Not to Do During a Child Custody Hearing
✖ Do not use your child to gain information about your ex – you will harm your child more than you will benefit your case.
✖ Do not bring your child to the custody hearing until you are ordered to do so.
✖ Do not bribe or manipulate your child for any reason, in any way.
✖ Do not get your partner or a new spouse to the court unless your advocate asks you to.
✖ Do not argue in the court – stating your point firmly is enough.
✖ Do not spring surprises at, or argue with your lawyer during the child custody hearing.
✖ Do not give any wrong emotional response to any question directed at you.
Even if you are fighting a custody battle with your ex, remember that he/she is related to the child just the way you are. Do your best for what you know is best for your child and this sometimes requires you to be a little considerate to your ex (even when you could gladly banish him/her to exile). Be aware of the child custody rights that the court grants to the mother and the father of a child. Lastly, whatever may be the outcome of the child custody hearing, be graceful even if it’s not in your favor.
TV’s Most Overrated Actors
The world can be roughly divided into two parts – TV lovers and TV bashers. Television, for most of us, is a good stress reliever. The following people, on the other hand, are the ones bringing a bad name to TV. As in the case of all good things, these party poopers make you want to smash your TV with your bare hands. I present you a list of people who bring out murderous tendencies in regular humans with their antics.
Highly Overrated Actors on TV
David Spade
Just Shoot Me! before I do, as David Spade keeps attempting to suck the joy out of television! Saturday Night Live showed us the amusingly sarcastic side of David Spade. After Rules of Engagement, the audiences decided that they have had enough versions of his sharp-tongued, dwarfy and skirt-chasing characters.
David Caruso
Take a bow, Lieutenant Horatio Caine, as David Caruso enters this list with honors. He chooses to portray every complex emotion by wearing and removing his sunglasses. To that, he adds some crass one-liners delivered in a deep monotone. Crime solving on CSI: Miami hits a hilarious low.
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sex and the City may have created a sartorial revolution, but the equine-faced Sarah deserves a lot of flak for portraying the thirty plus Carrie as a giddy sixteen year old. Thank heavens for the Vivienne Westwood outfits and the Manolo Blahnik footwear that shifted the spotlight from Ms. Parker’s juvenile attempts at acting.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
This Ghost Whisperer had her job all sorted out. A maximum of two expressions fleeted across Jennifer Love Hewitt’s face throughout the time the show was aired. A collective sigh of relief was heard in some quarters when this show was abruptly pulled off the air.
Miley Cyrus
A chubby face that sings in a high school, Miley Cyrus fulfills the requirements for being a preteen idol. As far as her acting abilities are concerned, the less said, the better. Let us hope she manages to gain some of that when she loses her baby fat.
Charlie Sheen
Was Charlie Sheen actually acting on Two And A Half Men? If not for the laughter track, it seemed like a reality show, giving a glimpse into his personal world. The slow speech, the lost eyes looked so natural, it could be termed ‘method acting’, except for the fact that it was not.
Ashton Kutcher
The role of Michael Kelso on That 70′s Show embodied the spirit of Ashton Kutcher. He followed it with Punk’d, which reinstated the fact that Ashton Kutcher equalled bad television. He seemed to have done a huge favor to television audiences by moving over to the big screen. We can now touch our remote without the fear of getting punk’d. Rejoice!
David Hasselhoff
So what’s with this list and the name ‘David’, as they all seem to hatch a conspiracy to annihilate television? Before all the episodes of drunken rants happened, David Hasselhoff was a Baywatch star (not actor, but star) who didn’t even bring any star value to the show. Can’t really blame the guy, can you, when you had Pamela, Carmen and Yasmin grabbing all the eyeballs.
Other Overrated Actors on TV
The stellar names above deserved a special mention, for reasons of mass aversion. Here are a few more actors who have unknowingly unleashed an epidemic of misery on the viewers. Let us hope they spare us the agony of viewing them on television in 2012.
- Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives)
- Fran Drescher (The Nanny)
- Minka Kelly (Charlie’s Angels)
- Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal, Brothers and Sisters)
- Spencer Pratt (The Hills)
- Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
- Gillian Anderson (The X-Files)
- Ron Eldard (Arresting Behavior)
- All the Disney Horrors – Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale, Raven-Symoné, Demi Lovato and the likes.
- The Cast of The Bold and the Beautiful and The Young and the Restless
These actors have played a part in television being called the ‘idiot box’. However, dislike is a very subjective term, and you are obviously free to dispute this list. Acting prowess aside, they have managed to inadvertently give us some comic relief, putting a smirk (not a smile!) on our faces. After all, isn’t this a part of entertainment too?
How to Grow Bermuda Grass
Cynodon dactylon, or the well-known Bermuda grass, is a perennial, warm season grass. It was first brought by the Spaniards to America in the 16th century from South East Africa. It is characterized by gray-green blades, flattened stems that are slightly purple and deep roots. The reason Bermuda grass is widely used is that it is not very expensive, grows fast and is not very affected by constant foot traffic. Growing Bermuda grass is easy in sunny places, while its growth is hindered by cold or too much moisture. Well-drained areas with tropical and subtropical climate are ideal for growing Bermuda grass. However, many “cold resistant varieties” (like Rivera, Yukon and Mohawk) have been introduced in the recent times.
Methods of Growing Bermuda Grass
Bermuda grass can be grown using grass or lawn sprigs, plugs, sod or seeds. The hybrid varieties of Bermuda grass cannot be seeded. There are three things that must be done before establishing new Bermuda grass.
- First, soil test the area in which you wish to grow the Bermuda grass.
- Second, loosen the soil to about 4 to 6 inches deep.
- Third, fertilize the soil according to the reports of the soil test.
To successfully establish Bermuda grass using sod, plugs or sprigs, the soil temperature must be above 55ºF for many weeks continuously.
Method 1: When establishing Bermuda grass sod, water the soil before laying sod on the surface. Then place the sod rectangles on top of the loosened and moist soil. Make sure that the ends of the sod rectangles are not in a straight line or in proper rows and columns. Walk on the sod or use a yard roller to lightly press down the sod to make adequate soil contact.
Method 2: Plugs are smaller versions (mostly cut pieces) of sod and can establish them in the same way as sod rectangles. For fast-growing Bermuda grass, place the plugs closer to each other and for long-term (and large area) grass cover, spread the Bermuda grass plugs evenly over the entire area.
Method 3: Bermuda grass sprigs include plant crown, stolons and underground rhizomes. They should be planted 2 inches deep in rows of 35 inches.
Growing Bermuda Grass From Seed
The most inexpensive way of growing Bermuda grass is by seeds. But special attention must be paid to certain factors while growing Bermuda grass from seeds. Some of the most important ones are discussed below.
- Temperature: Soil temperature of around 70ºF or more is ideal for planting Bermuda grass seeds. This temperature is found after 80-90 days of constant high temperature during the day. The growth activity of Bermuda grass halts when the temperature is below 60ºF at night.
- Time: It is generally recommended to establish Bermuda grass seeds in the beginning of summer (before August ends). Bermuda grass seeds are usually planted two and a half months before the first frost in most of the Northern states and two months before the first freeze in the Southern states.
(Dormant seeding can be done in the middle of the winter, when the temperature is a steady 60-65ºF. Plant the seeds and leave them to be dormant until the temperature rises above 65ºF in spring. This method is not followed commonly because, there is a high risk of the Bermuda grass seeds rotting, if the low temperature persists for a long time and the soil becomes saturated with moisture.) - Quantity: For every 1000 square feet, use 2-3 pounds of Bermuda grass seeds, 9-10 pounds of raw seeds for every acre in a new establishment and 14-17 pounds of coated Bermuda seeds for each acre in a new pasture establishment.
- Depth: Bermuda seeds must be sown at a depth of 1/8″ or less for optimized growth. (Bermuda grass seeds should never be planted more than 1/4″ deep in the soil.) To keep the birds away and promote moisture retention, cover the surface with a mixture of manure compost.
- Moisture: In the initial stages of germination, provide (and maintain) adequate surface moisture (not too much or too little) and maintain the soil moisture for the entire germination stage. Regulate deep, but frequent, water supply after the Bermuda grass has been established.
Germination starts within a week of planting and takes almost 20 days from the first sprouting to be complete. Normally, the time required to get full coverage of Bermuda grass is 10 weeks, but it might differ because of other factors (planting season, temperature and moisture).
Tips to Grow Bermuda Grass
- Bermuda grass grows best at soil pH of 5.5 or above.
- After loosening the soil, take a gap of two to three weeks, before establishing the Bermuda grass, so that the area is free of any dormant weeds or sprouts of earlier plantings.
- Level the surface with pulverized soil for about 5 inches before planting seeds.
- It is best to fertilize the soil in the morning or evening and water the area well after that.
- Plan the irrigation system (including the sprinkler layout) and lawn borders, before establishing the Bermuda grass.
- Use a drop spreader to sow the grass seeds when planting common Bermuda.
- Be sure to maintain enough soil contact between the Bermuda grass sod, plugs, sprigs or seeds and the soil.
- Many Bermuda sod varieties do not mix well with the seed varieties (especially the common Bermuda varieties).
- Completely avoid overseeding Bermuda grass with Rye grass in the first winter season.
- When you are overseeding Bermuda grass with others, make sure that there is adequate soil contact, and use growth regulators if needed.
One of the main disadvantages of establishing Bermuda grass in an area is that it has tendency of ‘killing’ other plants in the surrounding. To avoid this, keep edging it constantly and apply herbicides from time to time. Like any other grass variety, Bermuda grass maintenance has to be done regularly. The other disadvantage of Bermuda grass is that it is difficult to get rid of the Bermuda grass once it has been planted. When you decide to uproot the Bermuda grass, dig out the extensive root system completely and use glyphosate repeatedly for some time. On the bright side, Bermuda lawns are established within a year’s time, sometimes in 60-90 days. Besides, once the grass has grown, it becomes resilient to drought and heat, and covers the area extensively.
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